You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
