Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm passing your future prison.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
