Swine flu is the new snow day.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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