I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
