We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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