The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
