It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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