i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She announced her abortion via fbk
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize