i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
