You're so nebulous sometimes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
