i just had sex bonerless
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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