I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
