Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
