I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
