Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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