Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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