sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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