Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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