did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
