she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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