i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
