i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
