seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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