Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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