so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
