that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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