I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
