I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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