You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
