So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
