I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
