2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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