Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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