im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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