so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
