I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize