party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
