just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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