Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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