Define "chronic" masturbator.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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