I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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