Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
