Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize