With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
