i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
