And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize