if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
