I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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