i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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