Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
