did you get engaged???
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
