Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
