She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize