absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
