If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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