The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
