im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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