My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
