There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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