my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
