I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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