Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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