Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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