If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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