The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
