how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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